Did you know that some of the softest leather in the world is made from goat skin? Their skin is so incredibly soft, and aside from a part of their tail, their lips are the smoothest and softest thing to touch, ever. I’m addicted to them. They hate that I fondle their lips every time I’m near them, I’m sure.

Thank God.

Driving home from work yesterday, this car pulled in front of me on the highway with a bumper sticker that read, “BACK OFF! I’M A MEXICAN!”

That doesn’t make any sense, I thought… why back off? Because of all the illegal-immigration drama? Is it supposed to be funny? It’s not funny. Maybe I just don’t get it, maybe it’s a Mexican joke? Maybe I don’t get it because only Mexicans would laugh?

So then I pulled up closer to them, in their black Mercedes, and thought, they’re not Mexican at all! What kind of thing is this? A white person saying, how clever, I’ll put on this BACK OFF, I’M A MEXICAN bumper sticker on my high-end Mercedes and people will laugh along with me!

And then I pulled even closer to them (whilst going 70mph, we’ll ignore the fact that I wasn’t driving safely), and realized that I had misread the bumper sticker all along. The funky font made it difficult to read from a safe distance, and it did not, in fact, say “Mexican,” it said, “Musician.”

BACK OFF! I’M A MUSICIAN!

I thought about it for another minute (and I BACKED OFF! his bumper) and realized that “Musician” makes about as much sense as “Mexican.” At least to me. Maybe I’m not artsy enough to get it.

And maybe I should market the BACK OFF! I’M A MEXICAN! stickers?

I don’t really know how this got started, but whenever I ask Samantha to glare at me, or anyone else, she gives the most menacing, hateful glare you could ever give someone. And then she cracks up afterwards.

I told Mark enjoy it while it’s cute now, because when she’s 14 this is going to be the only facial expression we’re going to see from her.